I Wish I Was The Moon
by justareader13
Summary: Damon and Bonnie share an interesting and unexpected night in the woods that leads to some realizations and heart-to-hearts.


**I DISCLAIM EVERYTHING! Takes place during "Murder of One" ignores everything after.**

Damon sat on Bonnie's doorstep waiting for her to return from wherever she was. It wasn't often Damon thanked someone, very rarely actually and Bonnie was lucky enough to have been on the receiving end of his gratitude at some point or other and here she was again. Damon had heard the call she made to Elena, faintly but he had heard it. He also heard her breakdown, it was weird to him, she had always been so strong. To hear her tough exterior shatter, if only for a moment, was a bit disturbing. He was used to Elena, Caroline, Alaric hell even Stefan having an occasional meltdown but never Bonnie. She was a rock, a constant. Klaus had come, the unstoppable force but Bonnie she was the immovable object he didn't think Klaus would be able to but he had weakened her defenses. He supposed it better she broke now rather than later. His head snapped up as he heard a faint voice singing, it didn't sound angelic or like the heavens were opening up, it sounded earthly and the tone of the woman's voice held wariness and desperation yet a sense of serenity and knowing. Damon got up as if in a trance and followed the voice; it brought him deeper and deeper into the forest. Briefly he thought that this could be a trap but as he got closer he began to recognize the voice. He came to a small clearing and immediately saw Bonnie dancing inside a ring of fire with celestial patterns burned into the grass. She wore a white dress with a blue ribbon at the waist that stopped at her knees. She gracefully danced in circles and sang and she looked... beautiful, beautiful and free and many would think her completely unburdened but her song told a very different story. He began listening closer to her as she was in the middle of the song.

**Last night I dreamt I'd forgotten my name**

**'Cause I had sold my soul but awoke just the same**

**I'm so lonely**

**I wish I was the moon tonight**

*He watched closely as she danced in a circular pattern inside of the circle. She was so graceful, almost ethereal and like she was walking on air*

**God blessed me, I'm a free man**

**With no place free to go**

**Paralyzed and collared-tight**

**No pills for what I fear**

**This is crazy**

**I wish I was the moon tonight**

"Hey!" Damon called to her breaking her from the moment. She stared at him with annoyance clear in her face

"What? Can't you see I'm busy?" She snapped which he knew meant 'I'm finally relaxed please don't tell me something is wrong.'

"Mind if I join you?" He asked, she quirked her eyebrow surprised.

"So can I or not? Unless you plan to get more intimate with nature then I'll leave you to it." He said sarcastically taking his leather jacket off and resting it on a tree. He missed her eye roll but looked up to see Bonnie's pensive face for a few moments before he noticed part of the fire circle recede enough to grant him entrance. As the circle closed and he walked over to her and grabbed her hand so they could dance to the nonexistent melody she had imagined. The aura of someone that was free and wild yet desperate and heavy-laden descending back over the clearing but it was beautiful. They both looked up as an aurora not previously present appeared over the circle creating a kaleidoscope of earth toned greens and browns but there was also blues and blacks there and whites and reds that seemed to be a reflection of their souls: the green, brown and white for Bonnie and black and red for him. He noticed that the black and white seemed to be mingling more so than the other colors, he first interpreted it as good and evil but maybe it meant something else, he'd ask Bonnie later. He supposed the blue was for them both, they'd both seen their fair share of loss, pain and sadness even in the last couple months. Damon looked back down as Bonnie began to sing again.

**Chimney falls and lovers blaze**

**Thought that I was young**

**Now I have freezing hands and bloodless veins as numb as I've become. **

**I'm so tired and I wish I was the moon tonight.**

*Bonnie was singing with that strength he usually attributed to her, he picked her up and swung her around as she sang the next verse with much more conviction in her voice*

**How will know if you've found me at last**

**'Cause I'll be the one, be the one, be the one**

**With my heart in my lap**

**I'm so tired, I'm so tired and I wish I was the moon tonight **

*Damon decided to add his voice to hers, it seemed to be causing her great rest and he needed it same as she.*

**Chimney falls and lovers blaze**

**I thought that I was young**

**Now I have freezing hands and bloodless veins**

**As numb as I've become**

**I'm so lonely I wish I was the moon tonight.**

*Bonnie looked at him surprised but didn't contest it even as the aurora seemed to go into a frenzy at the mixing of their voices, their loneliness, their pain, their burdens. It was more freeing than anything he had ever felt.*

**I'm so tired, I'm so tired and I wish I was the moon**

**I'm so tired, I'm so tired**

**I wish I was the moon tonight.**

By the time they were on their way out of the forest the sky was getting lighter as the sun was preparing to rise.

"So you know they'll be horrible repercussions if you mention this to anyone?" Damon said as they walked side by side feeling the calmest they had since even before Stefan left.

"Same goes to you, though no one will actually believe you anyway." With a tone that implied she didn't mean it in an insulting way

"Ouch! Burn witch." He said back to her

"Sorry but it's true. Who would believe you if you told them you found me dancing and singing in the middle of the forest in the middle of the night like a mad woman and you joined me and that's pretty much what we did the whole night, was singing together and dancing and commiserating with the earth and moon?" She asked him bluntly but in a light voice so it didn't sound mocking, merely like she was stating fact

"Well I wouldn't mention me dancing and singing in the woods. Who would believe you if you told them that?" He countered

"Point taken. So you moon dance with many witches in your day?" She asked jokingly, well it would be jokingly except he knows Bonnie Bennett wouldn't joke with him. No they don't joke, they argue and threaten each other and engage in witty banter but they don't joke at least they never have before.

"Only a couple of times but enough to know how relaxing and therapeutic it can be even if you look like a strung out hippie gallivanting around crazily, it's worth it. Even so, that's not why I came here. I went to your house to wait for you and heard you."

'Why did you go to my house?" She asked curiously

"I wanted to... thank you, for calling Elena, thanks for that." He said sincerely, much like at the Founder's Day Parade.

"It was just a phone call." She said shrugging it off awkwardly

"It wasn't." He grabbed her to make her stop and looked her in her eyes

"Seriously, thank you. You didn't have to call for help, you could've let Rebekah kill me lord knows Klaus would've."

"Really Damon it's nothing." Bonnie said to him shuffling around a bit

"It isn't because he was telling the truth, I've done things to you he doesn't even know about. I'm the reason your Grams died, I changed you mother, I'm the reason Caroline changed, I've caused you and Elena immeasurable pain, I almost killed you. Things me just saying 'sorry' for won't fix though if it helps, I am sorry. I don't expect you to help me or to save but, it's like I told Elena the first time you saved my life. People like you and her and Stefan you guys do good, I don't so just thanks." He said conveying his sincerity, she gave him a small smile, it's kind of what she always wanted, was just for someone to thank her and Damon has been the only who really has and actually made her feel like she matters beyond being Elena's savior other than occasional times from Caroline and Elena usually just does it to butter her up because she knows Bonnie will do what she asks regardless but Bonnie feels the need to comment even as they begin walking again

"I don't know Damon. Maybe you're not as incapable of good as I originally thought."

"Are _you _seriously saying that to _me_?" he asked incredulously, she chuckled a little at the utter disbelief in his voice

"I mean if anything since Stefan and Klaus came back to town I'm still realizing that good and evil is almost never as black and white as it sounds, that's why the black and white in aurora was so intermingled. I mean I thought you were evil and didn't care about anyone but you do, you care about Elena and even if you don't want to admit it to me you care about Stefan and Caroline too and Alaric of course. Then there's Stefan, who I guess we all thought of as the golden boy and I suppose Elena doesn't really want to see him as anything else." Damon didn't mention that Bonnie was on the short list of people he cares about and instead jumped to Stefan's defense before Bonnie could utter another word

"Stefan is still the same guy that Elena fell in love with he's just struggling. He's had this addiction ever since he turned. It's kinda my fault, I never helped and I didn't want to. I didn't want to be there for him. I killed the one person who had been there through all his episodes and helped him get back to himself."

"I'm sure Stefan doesn't blame you for him not being in control and he probably forgave you for whoever you killed, he always forgives you." Bonnie said to him as they broke through the tree line and began walking down the block towards her house

"Yeah, I know he does. He's always forgiving me and saving me even when he's not supposed to give a damn, and I can never figure out why."

"Because he loves you and the way you just jumped to his defense, the way you tried to put the blame on yourself, you love him too. And I know Stefan's still in there and I hope you're helping him now, it's just probably gonna be hard for him with Elena being so judgmental about it and not really giving him a chance." She paused briefly before a condescending smile graced her face

"Sound like someone familiar?" she asked wryly

"Well, me, I kinda needed a judge, jury and semi-executioner and you paid in kind. Stefan hurts himself enough because of his addiction; he doesn't need Elena making it harder." They reached her doorstep and she walked up two stairs before turning to him

"I'm sure he's happy he has you." Bonnie said giving him a smile; he returned it with a small one of his own

"You know Sabrina; I think this is the most civilized conversation we've had in, well, ever."

"I suppose you're right Lestat."

"Okay, that was good and quick."

"Yep." She said popping her 'p'. He smiled one more time before turning to walk away

"Wait," he turned back to her as she stood there sheepishly

"You wanna watch the sun rise with me? I mean you can't end a proper moon dance without watching the sun rise." She said, quickly catching herself lest she sound desperate for company or something

"I guess so." He sat on a step and she lowered herself next to him, the two idly conversed as they watched the orange and yellow beams peek out over the horizon. Bonnie felt more content than she had in months, Damon felt more relaxed than he had in years and when Bonnie sleepily rested her head on his shoulder he might have felt a slight leap in his chest where his heart was but that doesn't really mean anything, nope nothing at all. Damon Salvatore has done many things to himself in the past, now he can add lying to the list.

As Bonnie laid her head on his shoulder, she couldn't help smiling at the flashes in her mind of her and Damon being silly and free in a way they never were together, spinning in circles and singing. Bonnie was even impressed as Damon sang a rendition of 'Cosmic Love' by Florence and The Machine, he was so carefree with her, even when they chose to dance alone they always seemed to find their way back to each other's arms. Anyone who saw them would probably think they were crazy but they were having too much fun, genuine fun. She remembered her delighted giggles every time he picked her up, which he seemed to like doing. A smiled graced her lips as she remembered his laugh, a real laugh, mixing with hers as morning dew began to fall over them. It was... right. She cuddled further into his arms, not caring that they were on her door step for the world to see, she didn't care about anything. She was too tranquil to care about anything beyond the bubble she and Damon was in and she was just fine with that.

**REVIEWS PLZ!**

**The song featured is: Neko Case - I Wish I Was The Moon **


End file.
